Birthing By Heart

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt.
He said, “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart.
One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.”
The grandson asked him, “Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?”
The grandfather answered: “The one I feed.”

~ Native American Story ~

In a society where we are fed ‘horror’ stories of pregnancy, labour and birth, as thought that is the norm in childrearing, it is easy to understand where fear in labour emenates from.

Fear of pain, fear of dying, fear of hospital intervention…. it doesn’t matter what the fear is, if you as a labouring mother are feeling it, then it is real to you, and needs to be addressed, before you can overcome it.

To identify what your fear is, a good technique to use, is to free-write. Take a pen and paper and just jot down every thought that occurs to you when you’re visualising your birth. You may well uncover some fears that have been lurking quietly in the back of your mind,  needing some assistance to come forth to be conquered.

Once you identify your fears, it’s easier to rationalise them, or at the least discuss them with your doula, midwife, or even your partner.

It’s important your support person doesn’t trivialise your concerns, but rather helps you to find a healthy way to move through them.

For example - fear of pain at a home birth. Some powerful ways to move address the fear, are to rationalise it as such:

• The pain is real, but it is life giving pain. It will come to an end.
• The pain is my body, performing the miracle it is designed to perform.
• The pain is not, pain, but rather my body opening up, to birth my baby.
• The sensations will be strong and intense but I am in charge of how I interpret them.

Positive affirmations about your concerns are very powerful, and a healthy way to address fear.  And it’s a good idea, to spend a good deal of time before labour visualising the postive!

Ideas to help you visualise:

• Write your birth story (in advance) describing how you will feel
• Draw yourself giving birth
• Create affirmation cards and laminate them. Review them a lot !!
• Write sticky notes, and post them around your house, to help you visualise.
• Try and find quiet time each day, to meditate. Even if it’s 5 minutes.

Your fear is real, but the key point is, you’re in charge of how you address it. This is your mind, your creation, and your birth.