How Dads Can Support Moms During Labor: Real, Practical Tips

Hey Dad,

If you're reading this, chances are your partner is getting ready to have your baby. So, that means — you’re getting ready to step into one of the most important roles as a dad — being her steady, loving support.

Your role isn’t just important — it is essential.

Staying close, believing in her, and loving her through it matters more than you probably realize.

I want to share a few things I've learned about how we, as dads, can really show up during labor.

Take a Birth Class Together

A lot of dads worry they won’t know what to do when the big day comes — taking a birth class ahead of time helps take that pressure off and is an important step in prepping for labor. It’ll help you both understand what to expect, give you some practical tools to use during labor, and help you feel equipped.

You don’t have to remember every little detail from class — just knowing the basics can bring peace of mind — and remind you that you already have what it takes to support her.

Being informed helps you understand your options, feel empowered, and confident in your birth plan and the decisions you're making. Plus, going through it together gets you on the same page early, so you’re already working as a team before labor even starts.

Bring the Excitement

Your attitude matters. This is a day she will remember forever, and you get to be right there beside her. Staying positive, relaxed, and loving helps her feel safer and more supported. Encourage her, remind her how strong she is, and be her biggest cheerleader.

Your belief in her helps her believe in herself.

Even when things get intense, staying excited and positive helps her keep going. She’s doing something incredible, and the way you show up can help her find strength she didn’t even know she had. Sometimes just knowing you're there is everything!

Your energy reminds her she's not in it alone.

Stay Close

Dad supporting his partner in labor

Labor is a wild ride — physically and emotionally. One of the best things you can do is stay physically close. Sit next to her, stand behind her, hold her hand, or just be within reach.

Even if she’s not talking much, just being there and staying connected can mean more than you realize.

Even if you feel like you're not doing much, just being close is exactly what she needs. Your closeness helps her body and mind relax. It reminds her she's safe, supported, and not doing this alone.

Your presence brings strength and comfort.

Be Fully Present

Put the phone down. (Unless she's telling you to take a photo!) Don't get distracted. Your full attention is one of the most meaningful ways you can support her. When she looks at you, let her see someone who is right there with her, fully focused, fully believing in her.

Don't worry about saying the perfect thing or having all the right moves. Just being there — steady, calm, and tuned in — helps her feel safe and supported.

You’re what she’ll hold onto when the contractions get intense.

Keep It Sexy

I know, it might sound a little strange when you're thinking about labor, but hear me out.

Birth and sex hormones are deeply connected.

Oxytocin (the "love hormone") is what drives both labor and intimacy.

It doesn’t have to be anything big or dramatic. Sometimes it’s just holding her close, stroking her hair, or gently rubbing her back.

The goal is to help her feel safe, loved, and connected — because that's what helps her body keep making the hormones that move labor along naturally.

So don't be shy about being affectionate and gentle with her. It's not about turning the delivery room into a date night; it's about keeping that deep, loving connection alive.

Just Breathe

Seriously. I'm not talking about some complicated breathing pattern you need to memorize. I'm just talking about remembering to breathe — both of you.

Labor can get intense. When things feel overwhelming, your calm, steady breath helps anchor her.

If she starts holding her breath or tensing up, you can take a slow, audible inhale and exhale. Most of the time, just hearing you breathe can remind her to breathe too.

Your steady breathing helps her find her rhythm again.

Breathing is something simple you can both hold onto.

Comfort Measures: It's About Comfort, Not Choreography

You don't have to memorize a dozen fancy labor positions. You might hold her hands, apply counter-pressure, support her weight — just stay flexible and responsive.

In our birth class, we always tell dads:

"Watch mom, not the monitor!"

Tune into her — her breathing, her movements, her sounds. Let her guide you. If she leans into you, stay close. If she pulls away, give her space. (Don't get butt hurt!)

There’s a reason certain positions feel better at different times — it's not random. Usually, the positions that feel best are the ones that help open the right part of her pelvis for the stage of labor she's in.

Comfort measures aren’t a planned-out choreography.

In fact, sometimes the best comfort measure isn't about doing anything other than staying tuned in, moving with her, and trusting her body to lead the way.

P.S. Comfort measures don’t have to be complicated. Sumer will be sharing a simple guide soon — real ways mommas can stay calm, comfortable, and trust their body through labor.

Keeping It Real for Labor

You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be there.

Breathe with her. Move with her. Stay close. Stay connected.

Keep it steady. Keep it sexy. You've got this!

From one dad to another,

Hugo