Looking Back and Laughing

Taking care of a newborn and recovering from birth is hard work. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed as a new parent… Is baby getting enough milk? How many dirty diapers have we had today? Did I eat? What day of the week is it again?

In the moment, it can all feel intense—but looking back, I always smile, and more often than not, laugh. To lighten things up, I’d love to share a few of my funny postpartum memories. Enjoy!

That First Poop (Baby’s and Mine)

Baby’s first poop is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. My parents always told me it was like tar—and they weren’t wrong. It’s dark, thick, and you’ll need a gajillion wipes. But don’t worry, it quickly changes to something that looks like cottage cheese mixed with mustard.

Now Mom’s first poop? Ohhh I was dreading that one. I went home with some stitches in my vagina and was convinced that my first bowel movement was going to tear them out. It had been five days—FIVE DAYS—since I’d gone. But I drank lots of water and took the stool softeners the doctor gave me, and it was fine. Totally fine. Looking back, my level of fear is hilarious.

The Ridiculous Pads & Magical Mesh Undies

I had never seen a pad so big in my life. That thing was HUGE. And those mesh undies??? I remember thinking, “There’s no way I’m going to wear those.” I even packed my cute undies to take to the hospital—ha! Wishful thinking.

After I gave birth, I was so thankful for those magical, stretchy, weirdly comfy mesh undies. I actually looked forward to them with my later pregnancies. (They’re kind of like the postpartum version of a cozy blanket.)

Stripper Boobs (Yeah, I Said It)

I know it doesn’t happen to everyone, but Lord have mercy, my boobs were ginormous. I started pregnancy as a 32B, grew to a 36C (which I didn’t mind), but three days after my son was born I woke up and nothing fit. I called my mom and begged her to take me bra shopping.

We’re at Walmart. I’m in the bra aisle, holding up a 38DDD in disbelief, when my mom—who always wants to be helpful—starts assisting two random men clearly lost in the lingerie section. They’re shopping for their wives and have no clue what size to buy. My mom gestures to herself and asks if their wives are similar. One of the men shakes his head, smiles, and says, “No, much bigger! Like her!” and points at me.

There I was—standing in the middle of Walmart, holding an enormous nursing bra, wearing an equally enormous pad—and I started ugly crying. Totally mortified. Those poor men looked like they wanted to disappear. Honestly, I did too.

Pee, Poop, and Sneaky Blowouts

Oh yeah—it’s gonna happen. And not just if you have boys! My oldest daughter peed or pooped on me nearly every time I changed her diaper for the first month. Honestly, it’s not as gross as it sounds. Or maybe it is, but because they’re your whole heart in a tiny human body, it’s easier to laugh and move on.

Pro tip: over-pack that diaper bag. Bring more diapers, wipes, and outfits than you think you'll need—and don’t forget a change of clothes for yourself. Better yet, stash an emergency kit in your car. Blowouts are stealthy little monsters and they strike without warning. There were a few times I just tossed the entire outfit in the trash and called it a loss.

Spit-Up… in My Mouth

Yup. Just as gross as it sounds.

Yes, that's spit up in my hair!

I don’t think my oldest ever did this, but my younger two definitely did. One evening, I was lying on the floor with my baby sitting on my chest, his little legs on either side of my neck. We were laughing, having the best time—then bam, spit up on my face. I called for my husband to come help. He took one look at me and burst out laughing. I was horrified.

And then… he walked away...

Not to help me...

To get the camera!

Smart phones weren’t a thing yet, so yes—we have that moment saved on actual film. He snapped a few pics, handed me some wipes, and scooped up the baby. And honestly? I don’t blame him. I would’ve done the exact same thing to him.

The Beauty in the Mess

Becoming a parent is often messy and gross—but oh is it fun. It’s hard and overwhelming—but oh is it rewarding. It’s tiring and relentless—but the memories are gold. Memories that you get to keep forever. When you’re like me—out of the thick of new parenthood, learning to parent adult children—you’ll look back at all the chaos and craziness and smile. And laugh.

From my heart to yours,

Sumer